Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Filed under: Me Personally

>Unconscious-Conscious

>First of all, please forgive me for the lack of updating because I'm frigging busy as hell with these university things, just so you know my schedule is a mess!
Talking about university... this afternoon I was struck by something that I haven't realized before
Are you sit comfortably? So, here's the story...
My academic adviser asked me what I wanna do for the research
Shocked and totally blank, that are things I felt at first
I was like waken up while I'm dreaming silently in my sleep
or maybe I was like stroke by a lightning thunder when I'm reading a book peacefully
seriously that's what I feel...
Everything goes unconsciously and when I'm aware I have to face this whole things that I have never been thinking about it even a bit
Plus some of my classmates work harder and busier than me, okay they're smarty pants but it's no excuse isn't it? They already knew what they are going to do for research
But me, look at me, seems like I even forget what is my first aim and what is my interest in learning Biotech
If someone ask me questions relate to that, I have to think times and times before I answer it
It's like my passion in Biotech is fading
I've been so relax doing my days in university, they're just routines for me
I learn if I have to, I'm doing nothing for the rest
Before this day I've never took this university thing that serious, I just go with the flow
Until today, O Gosh! I'm in my 5th semester now, one and half year more to graduate!
I really want to change, to make more effort in my university year so I can feel my tired later on
But how? How to get me right back on the track again? that is the problem...
Well, people says 'When there's a will there's a way" cliche, but I believe in it
One thing I know, my love for Biology will never ever fade
And thank so much God, you remind me from so early before it's too late =)

p.s: maybe I'm still carried away by the holiday mood, please come back my diligent mood!

>Yesterday and Today

>Well, i guess i'm gonna spoil my weekend to you all, enjoy!
On Saturday... i went to Tanah Abang, yes Tanah Abang block A, it's the green building with the Moslem decoratives spread on it. It was like a struggle to go there, because it was raining a bit so me, my mum, and my dad had to step on the puddle which is the only way to get there. Ah, i was thinking it was a bad start though. Finally i arrived and walaaa... it was so hectic and crowded! But it didn't whit my spirit, my shopping spirit! lol... and to keep the story short, after went there and here i got 4 coll t-shirt and 1 Chloe bag. Sorry i don't have the pictures, maybe one day when a camera phone already back on my hand. Afterall, it was a thrill day although the start didn't go too good.

On Sunday, which is today, after went to Church my brothers and dad went to see somewhat called car exhibition at Kemayoran. Me and my mum chose part way because as women, we don't like and don't know anything about cars. So we both decided to go to Artha Gading Mall, we got in to Daiso, an all about Japanese store, everything costs only IDR 22.ooo and look what i've got there!

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a traditional Japanese toy, it's called Cup and Ball (i just knew it)
i fell in love at the first time so i decided to buy it for fun!
you think it's easy to join the ball on the cup? nah! you wrong! i tried it many times, not only me but my brothers and my dad too, believe me it's really really hard to do!

then we paid the things we wanted, took away J.Co fro-yo, and picked up my brothers and my dad at the same place we arrived at first.

End of The Days

p.s: pic above is not really my Cup and Ball but the one i have is pretty much like it, the color is as the same as the pic!

>Made a Promise

>yesterday, because of one thing and another (sorry can't tell you here, it's a sensitive thing)
i made a promise to myself in front of God that
i would never put my parents under pressure or suffer
i would make them always happy for the rest of their life
i would do my best to help them going through anything in the future (when i'm settled)

well, have you guys ever heard this proverb "If a parents is rich, a child will be served like a king but if a child is rich, a parents will be forgotten" you see what i'm saying? more or less the meaning is like that.
seeing a grown up child who can earn he's own money and then talk in a rude way to his parents, when they need his help in financial
i know what they feel inside, they're being under pressured but their love to him beat it all
it hurts my heart and make me kinda agree with that proverb
how can a child can talk in that impolitic way to its own parents?
listen, without them, you wouldn't be here now!
they have grown you up nicely so far, giving you birth by the sweat of her brow, pay your school, university, your toys, fulfill anything you want even it's useless in the end, and always proud of us whatever we do or we've done
we couldn't choose where we want to be born but i'm sure our parents now are the best that God has given to us, that's the fact!
remember those sacrifices that my parents have done until now get me touched and made me realize all i have to do is fight for their happiness and throw away what makes them feeling down
that's why i made a promise to myself as i wrote above
and hopefully i can keep my promise until i'm settled one day
i believe with God's help i can fulfill it and prove it to everyone
that your parents are worth to fight for, to be happy for, and to be loved for
maybe it's one thing called maturation process in life =)
love you, Mom and Dad!

>4 Days

>It's not because my computer is down or error
but it was all because the stressful final tests
i was struggling for them all, just so i could get a good mark
well, they are not finished anyway but the 3 hardest of all are gone
let me tell ya how does it is like away from my computer for 4 days
no facebook-ing, results in a lot of notifications, updates, friend requests and so on
no twittering, the tweets from people i follow is unbearable, i couldn't check it one by one
no blog updating, well it's been 2 weeks! sorry readers
no just jared checking, i'm not so up to date, lame!
last, no email checking,which made 331 unread emails stayed in my inbox
most of them are unimportant, blah...
my oh my, how about my final tests journey???
i cheated a lot on today test
feel bad about it, sorry God, i never ever meant to do it
but what else can i do? i was blinded by its value, 4 sks
so i did every way, bad or good, to get a good mark on it
and i just shocked
i got 21, real 21, on my lab work Microbio test
i thought i did answer all of the questions correctly
but hey, i really have no idea why on earth i could get that "cinema" score
anyway, i don't ever really think about it much
i guess i've been numb, maybe it will do any good for me, i'm not pretend it
that's exactly what i do feel recently
what can i learn from all of these??
i'm getting ready for 3 months holiday!!! haha
i make list of dvd and books that i'm going to buy to spend my holiday
i guess it will be a little bit boring
i'm planning to do a part time job, but i've no idea where and how, let's just see
well, it's better than no holiday at all, isn't it???
i always loveee holiday, well who doesn't?!
but before that, i need to finish these damn final tests up!
2 more, baby!! just be patient bee!
last. i'm surely still and always praying for the best
and let God do some works, especially on my marks
ciao!